Monday, September 8, 2008

woulda-shoulda-coulda

after the other day's looooooong post...i feel pressed to ask...

do you have a woulda-shoulda-coulda moment?

i don't regret much. i don't wish to change many things in my life. but i wish that:

i would have...i should have...i could have...

known that i was allowed to ask for more following my miscarriage. i wish that i would have known that i could ask to find out the sex of the baby. i should have made myself more knowledgable of my options, rather than blindly following what the doctor told me. i could have known more than the report told ("consisted of fetal tissue" or something to that extent...)

i wish i knew more about you, my almost-baby. i wish i could have given you a name.

do you have a woulda-shoulda-coulda moment?...

5 comments:

KJ said...

From the little experience I have "working" at a hospital, I feel that if you still want to know the sex, they probably put it in your chart, and you could probably still find out, since you have a right to access your chart. I'm not for sure, but its always something you could try and look into if you feel you are ready to learn more.

Tough Situation. Again I'm sorry you went through it.

Insta-mom said...

Oh how I just want to invite you over, pour a cup of coffee, and just be--with all the what ifs and should haves and currently ares.

I wish I would have insisted on attempting a vaginal delivery with the twins instead of defaulting to C-section. The older Pumpkin might not have had the issues he had if I had listened to my instincts instead of my doctor. I wish I knew then what I know now about that doctor.

anymommy said...

Many. I want to come over to insta-mom's for the coffee and the heart to heart. I don't know anything either. Just a ten week nonviable fetus.

I wish I'd understood, before I had pregnancies and children of my own, what it means. We started our family late and I had many true friends go through things like this and I just didn't recognize how much pain they experienced. And yet, they were still there for me. Amazing.

Marinka said...

I had planned to live in Barcelona right after college for a year, but at the last minute, I chickened out and got a job in NY. I did the safe thing, and I sort of know that I'll never get another chance to live in Barcelona, as a 21 year old.

Connie said...

We did find out. I named her Adrienne, after a friend of mine that helped me realize that I am a wonderful person and brought out the best in me. I am better for having had both of them in my life.

I wish that I had met my husband sooner so that we would have more time together. But he tells me he was an @sshole when he was younger so maybe I wouldn't have liked him.

I regret that I stayed in an abusive marriage much longer than I should have.