Friday, September 26, 2008

not so much fun with family

so, i've had two really...hmmmm...interesting intriguing (?) conversations with my grandparents...

two conversations that i never thought i would have...or really never even wanted to...

posted for your enjoyment...or not...
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at a recent family get-together of a family that rarely gets together...the hostess decided to play a get-to-know-you game.

yes...we are a family.
yes...we need a get-to-know-you game.
no...i didn't WANT a get-to-know-you game. (and neither did many of the others)

after a wonderfully catered dinner from a local mexican restaurant (plates, tablecloths and everything...EVERYTHING!) and a few offerings of pina coladas and margaritas (which i didn't accept...)

yes...i should have accepted the drinks.
yes...i realize you should always drink around family.
no...i'm not sure what i was thinking either.

she brought up the game. it goes like this. everyone sits around in a circle. she had a list of 20 or so yes/no questions. if you answered "yes" to the question...you moved to the chair next to you. mind you, your neighbor just might not have answered "yes" and therefore...you end up on their lap. everything was all fun and games until she asked the question that i wish i would never have heard. and seen the sight that was associated with it.

yes...she asked if you use viagra.
yes...my grandpa was the only one that moved a seat.
no...i cannot erase that from my brain.

ugh. at least he told the truth, huh?
and yes...i did drink two pina coladas following the game. it's what i needed to forget...but haven't been able to.
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and here are some snippets from a conversation that my grandma and i had recently.

yes...she was at one time married to the above mentioned grandpa.
yes...she is now divorced from him.
no...she is not romantically involved with anyone.

i was discussing a recent murder of an older woman in the apartments just across the street from my grandmother's. scary, huh? and she doesn't live in a bad area of the city. not that it would make it any less scary...

i just wanted to make sure that she was taking extra precautions...checking her door at night, not letting people in the building, etc.

she told me that she had decided that if anyone tried to get her...she would just kick him in the balls. i decided to approach the subject..."grandma...i don't think you should try to kick anyone in the balls. i've heard the best approach is to squeeze and twist the balls. it's apparently painful and you are less likely to lose your balance."

yes, grandma...you need to watch out for yourself.
yes, grandma...you should do everything in your power to protect yourself.
no, grandma...you might hurt your hip if you try to kick the balls.
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do any of you have these types of conversations with grandparents?
(viagra usage, ball-kicking?)

5 comments:

Marinka said...

I am very traumatized on your behalf!

LazyCrazyMama said...

Now that is hilarious!!! Why is it always so shocking/embarrassing to have such conversations with the grandparents ;)

Awake said...

OMG - those are hilarious!

ijustvacuumed said...

oh my!

I could not ever imagine having that conversation with my grandparents...you poor thing!

My parents are TMI right now for me and I'm in my late 30's...with a daughter that I can say ANYTHING to, but boy add my parents in the mix and I am outta there! LOL

Great answers by the way!

~Grace
www.ijustvacuumed.com

Connie said...

I love talking with old(er) folks!