Saturday, October 25, 2008

not quite...but still perfect.

i've been feeling a little sorry for myself today.

for some amount of time, the husband and i had planned a night in boston. he has a rather long overnight there, this evening. over 24 hours. in pilot-terms...it's a long overnight. for us...it was to be a first night of...just us...

no plans. no babies. no kids. no house.

just us...and a hotel room. and a new city.

but stuff...got in the way. recovering girly-girls... recovering mama... birthday parties... midwife get-togethers... halloween costumes to be made...

still...i felt sad. sad that my husband and i weren't gonna be...just us...for the night.

until...this evening. the girly-girls and i picked up my dad from the airport. it was late...and belly fell asleep during the ride. coconut, on the other hand, didn't. she even managed to stay awake while i nested belly in her bed.

with the house quiet and creaking, i nursed her to sleep. i felt her sweet warm breath. i watched her eyes ever...so...slowly...sink closed. i felt her body deepen into my arms. i overheard her breath whispering slow and steady.

and my tears spilled.

my baby, that is not quite always my baby anymore, is still...my baby.

and even though i wasn't with her daddy tonight...

my night was still absolutely perfect because of that single moment watching her drift to sleep.

9 comments:

steenky bee said...

First! Awe, that is a perfect night. I love those moments when you can tell yourself to be present and there with whomever you are with. So glad you spent that moment with belly.

Marinka said...

I'm sorry that you didn't get the "us" time with your husband. I know how disappointing that can be.

But I'm glad that you had that perfect moment with your daughter. Thank you for reminding me about that moment when they get heavy in your arms. It's amazing, isn't it? I miss it.

A Buns Life said...

I'm sorry you didn't get your night with your hubby, but it sounds like you might have needed *this* kind of night even more.....

Casey said...

There will be other nights alone with the husband but I'm sorry you had to miss this one. I've been feeling the same way, my little baby is growing up and this will be my last baby so it's bittersweet. Glad you got to snuggle Belly to sleep, I love that feeling!

Christy said...

Awwww, sleeping babies are the best. Sometimes, I sneak into Porgie's room and watch her sleeping. John thinks I am insane, but I love watching her so peaceful and quiet.

Mandy said...

I second what "a buns life" said:)

Connie said...

That is so sweet...and made me cry.

There will be other nights, and other cities.

dig this chick said...

I started to leave you a comment on this yesterday but my girl is very sick and I was pulled away to administer tylenol and practice not freaking out at the seal cough coming from her tiny body.

Anyway, I love those moments so much. It is funny how, when you pay attention, life gives you just what you need.

Thanks for always leaving such thoughtful messages on my blog!

anymommy said...

And, there's only so many moments like that. I hope you get your night for just you and him soon.