so. you turned three. and a half.

SO LONG AGO.
november 3rd to be exact. 
but ... three is a crazy age.  so i'm totally allowing myself to feel ok with the fact that it has taken me a bajillion years to write your "today you are three and a half and this is who you are" letter. 

feel like you've missed something dear readers?
two and a half ...
one and a half ...
(on every half birthday i write a little note to my babies to tell them who they were at that moment in time.  so bear with me ... this one is for her ... )

cora.
coconut.
my little middle.

i remember when your 3 (and a half!) birthday was coming upon us ... mostly because we were remembering how most of the family was sick with that major uck last year at this time.  and i said!  oh yay!  cora is about to have her three and a half birthday! 
and you demanded cake.
because that's just kinda what you do.

and we happened to be at ikea that night ... buying some shelf or something to utilize in my endless quest for organization of the never-going-to-be-organized-toy room.  and we left ikea with grandma and auntie lulu.  and got in the van.  and then i realized that everyone was superduper hungry and that the drive home was going to be ridiculous if attempted before you all had food in your tums.  so i threw finners back into the sling and hoisted you up onto the other hip and made poor stellers walk.  i'm sure i looked like quite the sight dragging three crying children back into the store.  by myself.  (grandma and lulu had left us in the parking lot.)  and they were completely out of meatballs.
frickfrack.
the promised meatballs were not available.  but giganto slices of weird cakes were apparently sufficient to make up for their nonexistance.

and in the middle of the restaurant late at night we sang happy half birthday to you as loud as we could. 
and we smiled and giggled and laughed our way through a not-so-nutritious meal of mashed potatoes and cake. 

and you turned three and a half.

and this is who you are.
... just recently you declared yourself a vegetarian ... which looking back ... isn't weird at all.  you always were one to eat your fruits and vegetables and leave everything else on your plate.  it's just official now.
... you are amazingly stubborn.  and it's hard.  and it's rough.  and it makes for some really frustrating moments in parenting you.  like the several days when you have asked me to make your new favorite dinner ... that you tell me is your favorite dinner (spinach enchiladas) but you won't let anyone watch you eat it ... because one time you said you wouldn't like it ... and so now?  even though you tell me it's your favorite ... noone can. see you.  enjoy it.  gah!

... but i wouldn't want you to be any other way.
... someday?  i'm really going to cherish this trait of yours. 
... alone ... you are the brightest most sunshiney child. 
... you can light up a room.
... with your brother and sister ... you are a tad more frustrated.  (but who wouldn't be when jammed in between those two?)

... yesterday you were going to get your ears pierced.  and you woke up with the sun and a yawn spread across your face and you told me, "sometimes?  when you yawn really big?  it means that you are excited to go and get your ears pierced." 
... and then you didn't.
... and i think that maybe you felt really bad that you couldn't do it. 
... but it's ok.  because i felt a little funny about the possibility of you having them pierced anyways.
... you still love purple.  it's your favorite.  but you also like pink and yellow, you say.
... you have a creativity all your own.  it shows up in your clothing style and in your art.

hey... it all had pink.  complete with boingy ponytail things.  six of them.

no ... not like that.  BOING-I-ER.

... you love words and how they spill off your tongue.  you love to sing silly things and say things that cause people to listen.
... you love to have people sleep next to you ... or at the very least ... lie with you while you drift off to sleep. 
... but generally you end up kicking them in the head during the night ... so no one really LOVES sleeping next to you.
... you desperately want to go to school.  and you can count and read letters and numbers on the busses.
... and we still have to wait another year for kindergarten. 
... but we are looking around at preschools.  because you would be in heaven ... learning.

... you are still scared of dogs barking.  and you have the best hearing in the world. 
... sometimes you scream MOMMY! in the middle of the night and i run into your room expecting you to have fallen out of bed or be on the verge of getting sick ... and you calmly say "i love you mama" and roll over smiling yourself to sleep.
... for the longest time you said ... "i wizzint!" (for "i wasn't).  and now?  you say ... "i wizzint! i know it's supposed to be wasn't.  but it's more fun to say wizzint."  (try it.  it IS more fun.)

... i still can't believe how easily you gave up your nuk nuk when you turned three.  (and just for the record ... i totally have one hidden away ... for memories sake.)
... you are a thinker.  you ask me about things from when you were little.  or when i was little.  and you love to listen to the old stories.
... you love to read books.  though you have no favorites.  you just love pictures and words and quite possibly your favorite part is cuddling.
... you give the best bear hugs.  in the world.  hands down.
... you are kind and helpful.  most of the time.
... you are jealous and loud.  often.
... you are sweet and sour.  all at the same time.
... and i think it's because you are a middle.  well.  and you are three.
and three is just really a hard age to be.
because you are big enough to understand so much ... and too little to do too much.
and i can't imagine how frustrating that is.

i'm trying to remember though ... because it's just you.
and you are so incredibly beautiful.  everything about you is amazingly wonderful.  and i hope that you never forget that. 

i love you sweet coconut.  so so SO big.
love always,
your mama.