request.

this is why my heart hurts today.

coconut is sitting on my lap as i write this request to you ... and she just smiled and pointed as that picture appeared above. "gramma!" she said. and i start crying again ... she asked if i "bump head?" no baby ... mama's heart is very very sad.

see that amazingly wonderful woman up there?

yesterday, in the middle of the night, she had a fall. she (finally) realized the importance of these episodes and got ahold of one of her beloved children. who, in turn, called an ambulance to bring her in right away.

now we have a diagnosis.

brain tumor.

which will potentially be operated on ... today. edit: maybe not today. but soon.

and i am desperately begging you for all of the prayers and thoughts and well-wishes that you can possibly muster up today ... to pull her through this. because i am NOT ready to see her go.

it's amazing how something like this, can help you to realize the true importance of a holiday.

it's not the hours spent searching for a perfect present, the gifts that you receive under your tree or the cookies ... it's the people that you love. fully and truly. it's having them around you. it's being enveloped in one of gramsy-bear's best hugs.

so, please? send her some well wishes if you can today ...

i know this sounds greedy ... but i really want her here. i cannot imagine my life without her in it.

that, and ... she has a lot of life to live still.

in fact, she's been asking when they can get that thing out of her ... because she has a casserole in the fridge that needs to be brought over to someone's house ... and someone else asked her to make mashed potatoes for christmas dinner.

so, see? she's not ready yet either.