Thursday, May 29, 2008

i do more than you do.

seriously, does it really matter?

i just deleted a really looooooong post (that i've been writing and rewriting for WAY too long) about an ever-occuring argument discussion my husband and i have about who does more in the household, why i think things must be harder for me because he's a pilot and gone 4 days per week and i have to take care of everything by myself when he's gone and why i think i'm right and blah blah blah.

and then...

i just completely deleted the ENTIRE thing. gone.

it felt really good to get it off my chest, to make my point. part of me wanted to have y'all out there read it and back me up. but the other part of me realized that it is a much more personal issue than i have ever addressed on my blog to this point. and, although, it feels like i'm just writing to myself...there will be people that will read this. and i don't have a crappy husband. i don't want anyone out there thinking that i do. he's awesome. he's great. he is the love of my life. he has loved me when i'm not really sure that i've loved myself.

now, i know why i deleted it. it's between him and me. it's something that we need to discuss over a quiet (did you hear that??) dinner date...that hopefully involves something yummy and a bottle of wine.

we need to figure out how not to get into a role of tag-team parenting and household chores. we need to figure out how to not emphasize what the other is NOT doing. and just be thankful that we have someone to do THIS with. we parent differently, we do the house-stuff differently...we make a great team. let's keep it that way.


Jen said...

Just stopping over from Allmediocre and wanted to say hi! Also, just to let you know that you aren't alone in the "I do more than you" argument boat. My husband and I have heated discussions about this more than I'd like admit. Hang in there!

Who? Me? said...

Thanks for stopping by!

Arguments are hard to keep between the two of you. Sometimes I put things out here that are really personal and I probably shouldn't. But just the act of typing them makes me feel better and the comments make me remember that I'm not the only person who feels that way. When you're both so busy it's hard to not jump into the "but I fed the dog and the cat, picked up the living room, mopped and swept and all I'm asking you to do is put your shoes away" argument. I've only been married for 4 years and I'm guessing it doesn't get any easier...