i love my bed.

yes, it's true. i can safely say that after sunday evening's camping/concert adventure...I LOVE MY BED. specifically my mattress, but whatever.

friday's return from camping on the north shore was a mix of sadness from leaving (we had so much fun)...and excitement to be home and continue our plan filled weekend. i really did plan to post on saturday, but it was so busy. we ended up on a boat cruise with husband's family on lake minnetonka. ah, it was fun - but just added to the already acquired sunburn. ouch. then we quickly departed sunday morning to a jack johnson concert and camping with friends. i'll write more about these later. - and include some pictures! -

so, that was the fun part.

the horrible parts of the last week included the unfortunate downfall of two (yes, 2) of my childhood pets.

my mom had to put henry to sleep on friday evening following a traumatic fall - we are unsure if a brain injury caused the fall, or if the fall caused a brain injury - he was an older dog. somewhere in the vicinity of 14-15 years old. we acquired him from a dog rescue that i used to help out with. he came to us severely abused. they tried giving him the names "tough guy" and "slider"...but they just didn't fit. he came to be our henry - started out as a foster dog, but flourished and we just couldn't send him to another home. he was definitely quirky. thoroughly enjoyed having people stick their tongues out at him (?) and often wouldn't pee if you were watching...but he was a good dog and it was hard to see him go.

then while we were packing up from the concert/camping adventure...my mom called to say that caliope was not doing well either. caliope was my childhood kitty...she was a gorgeous calico that had the perfect little orange above her nose and beautiful white markings. she slept with me every night...she would jump into my bed and go under my covers as soon as i started downstairs to my room. she loved our old screened in porch and enjoyed the outdoors so much (when we would take her out!). she comforted my mom through some rough patches and, i guess...she just decided that we were ok now and that it was time for her to go.

as i fitfully slept in my bed that i love last night, i remembered the times that she would jump into bed with me and cried as i realized that jet (our black kitty) does a similar thing with belly until she falls asleep at night. and jazzy sleeps the night in coconut's room, with rainy cat laying outside her door. i hope that my girls are comforted by their pets like i was growing up. those animals are a special someone that you can talk to and spill secrets to...and they don't judge or feel any differently about you.

so caliope and henry...watch over us and our loved pets. know that you were completely loved and that we always tried to do the best for you. we're sorry to see you go...but can't wait to scratch your neck and stick our tongues out at you again someday...

maybe i should mention....

after reading through that last post...
(which, quite honestly, sounded a little scattered...we are all seeing the repercussions of lack of sleep on my part - lucky you).

back to the point.
to those of you that ACTUALLY know me - i'm sure it didn't sound weird -
but...
i sometimes forget that this IS the internet...and that someone may stumble upon this and wonder why the husband is in a hotel room.
husband travels for his job -

he doesn't get sent to hotel rooms routinely for driving me crazy. although...

i do more than you do.

seriously, does it really matter?

i just deleted a really looooooong post (that i've been writing and rewriting for WAY too long) about an ever-occuring argument discussion my husband and i have about who does more in the household, why i think things must be harder for me because he's a pilot and gone 4 days per week and i have to take care of everything by myself when he's gone and why i think i'm right and blah blah blah.

and then...

i just completely deleted the ENTIRE thing. gone.

it felt really good to get it off my chest, to make my point. part of me wanted to have y'all out there read it and back me up. but the other part of me realized that it is a much more personal issue than i have ever addressed on my blog to this point. and, although, it feels like i'm just writing to myself...there will be people that will read this. and i don't have a crappy husband. i don't want anyone out there thinking that i do. he's awesome. he's great. he is the love of my life. he has loved me when i'm not really sure that i've loved myself.

now, i know why i deleted it. it's between him and me. it's something that we need to discuss over a quiet (did you hear that??) dinner date...that hopefully involves something yummy and a bottle of wine.

we need to figure out how not to get into a role of tag-team parenting and household chores. we need to figure out how to not emphasize what the other is NOT doing. and just be thankful that we have someone to do THIS with. we parent differently, we do the house-stuff differently...we make a great team. let's keep it that way.

1 year old...

hi coconut.

you are one year old today and i can hardly believe it!

in keeping with my birthday blog themes...

here is one big reason why i love you...

I LOVE YOUR LAUGH.

you giggle and laugh all the time, you have a deep laugh when you find something to be really funny (most often centered around your big sister), you are so ticklish and giggle when we even mention it. your laughter has brought so much more laughter into this house. you make us giggle all the time. you can break a bad mood with your silliness or a single word. (and you find yourself just as funny!) thank you for making us smile more.

through the years, i hope that you keep your happy carefree attitude. i hope that you laugh more than you cry. i hope that you live life with a smile and the realization that the glass is always half full.

i love you sunshine...thank you for being my little girl.

almost...almost...

hey baby...

are you really gonna be one tomorrow? are you?

i can't believe how much you (and i) have grown over this past year...

exactly one year ago...right now...

- i had just heard the pop pop pop of my water breaking

- i immediately had a overwhelming feeling of fear and excitement and nervousness and urgency

- i wondered how i was ever going to be able to take care of two

- i couldn't figure out how i was going to take both of you to target (who sits where in the cart?)

- i was telling daddy to call boppa (just in case...ha ha ha)

- i was calling my AMAZING midwife to get her ready

- i was attempting to take a shower to see if that would ease things up

- i couldn't believe that i was going to be in the hospital at the same time as your auntie (and brand new cousin a - who was born on the second)

- i was trying to breathe between contractions that seemed to be jumping atop each other

- i had no idea how fast and furious this labor would be

- i was dying to meet you and see you and hold you and kiss you

i was on my way to being a mommy of two...i am so lucky to have you, my little coconut. you really are growing in front of my eyes, right now...

- you seem to LOVE elephants...you make an elephant noise whenever you hear the E word

- you say "oh" and pat people on the back during hugs

- you put up one pointer finger when people say you are gonna be one

- you clap whenever someone says "good job" or "yeah!"

- you dance whenever someone sings "we're following the leader, the leader, the leader..."

- you are saying SO MANY words - new words everyday!

- you love taking a bath, you crawl towards the bathroom as soon as bathtime is mentioned

- you love talking to daddy on the phone...but you mainly just push buttons

- you twirl your hair when you are shy or nervous

- you love to cuddle in the morning when you wake up

- you still love to nurse

baby b

welcome to the world, little one.
i can't wait to meet you.
"auntie"jen

dear little one...

hey little one...
your mommy told me you are coming soon...and i am so excited to meet you.

you come from an amazing family...not just your mommy and daddy, but your grandparents and your uncles and aunts. so many people that are family and friends, eagerly awaiting your arrival and anticipating the announcement of who YOU are. it is often said...
it takes a village to raise a child.
and i think you have a pretty spectacular village surrounding you.

your mommy is my best friend. we've known each other for a very very long time. she has a heart of gold and a smile that shines. she makes me laugh and brings oodles of sunshine into the lives of so many people.
your daddy is a prince...(your mommy always wanted one of those). he loves her (and you) so much. he is a good friend and i'm sure he will teach you so much about life and friendship and love. he makes your mommy shine more.
your grandparents and uncles and aunts are looking forward to spoiling you silly. they love you already and are so excited to show you the depths of their love.
there are multitudes of friends in many different places that are awaiting your arrival and have many other little ones that are your soon-to-be friends.

it's a pretty good village, if i do say so myself.

now onto a letter for your mommy...
sar-bear...there are so many things that i want to share with you as you take this one-way train into mommy-hood. but, honestly, i can not come up with a single word that fulfills what i want to say. but i'm gonna try anyways...
i am so excited to KNOW *sara, the mommy* in addition to *sara, my best friend*. you are bound to be amazing throughout this journey. i don't want to fill you with unnecessary advice. i just want to be a supportive wall that you can come to when you are having troubles or need someone to lean on. i want to be your giving tree.
LOVE...the instantaneous love that you will feel is amazing and undeniable. there is a true animal instinct that will connect you to your baby. some people feel it more quickly than others...but i think it's always there...just more deeply buried. the love is very hard to explain and words almost diminish it.
CHANGE...this will change you. not good or bad...it just changes you. and it is very different from the love you feel for mike or your parents or me :). it is undescribable.
EXPECT...you have to expect the unexpected. plain and simple. if you start having expectations, lil' bebe will send those packing immediately.
ENJOY...you have to relish every minute of this journey. you don't have to (and probably won't) enjoy all of it...in fact, i'd be bothered if you did! there are moments that absolutely suck. but you have to be willing to look back and laugh at those times. and you will, sooner or later, you will.
CHERISH...the little things. cherish the baby smell. cherish the way baby's hands curl when sleeping. cherish baby's subtle squeaks and squeals. they change so quickly...but you will always remember.
i heard somewhere...these are the longest minutes and the shortest years that you will ever know. perfectly said. cuddle that baby for me and tell baby, "there is an 'auntie' jen-men out there waiting for the opportunity to meet you."
congratulations on your new name, mommy. i love you.

tighter squeezes

i just came across this blog today that has made me look at my girls in a new light.
http://sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com
it is written by a mother of - four - that is an amazing photographer and an inspiring writer. in february of 2007, their family lost their little 3 1/2 year old daughter, ava, in an awful accident. see here:
www.avasrule.com
this is a postcard that was created to acknowledge the type of accident and attempt to prevent it from happening to another family.
honestly, i have never been so moved and so touched by someone that i have never known. i'm not sure if it's the beauty of the pictures or the beauty in this little girl...but i have spent all day thinking about her and remembering her each time that my girls have needed just a little something more from me. i can't fret about little frustrations, when another mommy is going through something so much bigger. i definitely squeezed my girls tighter tonight.
this mommy writes so beautifully about her family and their life and how much she misses her little ava. everything that she writes about reminds me of my little belly...same age approximately...same likes/dislikes. same sort of questioning nature and love of life. she even loves to sing the same song...you are my sunshine. they share the same intimate connection with their grandfathers.
i don't know that i could do what this mommy is able to do (i.e., go on living life) without my belly and my coconut. i don't know how i would muster up the strength to do it. and more-so...i'm not sure that i could share those emotions with the world in such a thought provoking and heart wrenching manner. believe me, you need to see her beauty.
you, too, will give those babies an extra squeeze. you, too, will fulfill the request for just one more kiss without getting even slightly annoyed. you, too, will see the beauty in ava and will send strength to her mommy and show her that ava's short little life had such purpose.

my mommy

my mommy is the best...
(i had to add that just for you, mom, when you asked for my blog address...)
:)

up up up up up up-dates...

- mama. saturday's count of mamas - non-existant. daddy let me sleep in that morning...after being up for less than an hour...i had made it to 100. what? apparently that's as high as i can count. i guess we need to guesstimate. 1200?? oops...minus the 2 hours of naps. 1000. well...at least 1000 in the 8:30 am-8:30 pm range of time.

- daddy...come home already. we miss you. you drove us all (including yourself) a little crazy when you were around for practically 3 weeks. but now that you've been gone for 3 days. we miss you again.

- work. let's not even go there. blah blah blah. it's boring information about myself anyways.

- did i really just hear a forecast for possible snow again? ugh. (mother nature if you are listening...i'm done with winter!)

- coconut's gonna be 1! she turned 11 months on the 3rd. i can't believe it. she's pointing to everything and saying "dat?" she pointed at skye-dog the other day, turned to boppa, and said "dog". (just in case, he didn't know). very cute. she gets so excited when her mama walks in a room. (she's definitely a mama's girl - i love it.)

- i've officially decided on pink for my new crafting area. i'm excited to start trying some digital scrapbooking stuff i've been reading about here. (oooo, i just figured out how to do a link...i've been meaning to try that!) this summer is going to be all about fun with the girls and rediscovering my love of craft stuff. maybe i can actually finish the girls' scrapbooks with this digital idea?? we'll see. i've found some wonderful blogging mommy's that are using it...and they've given me some ideas. i might just have to "purchase" before the summer so that it doesn't come down to money (argh...school year paycheck).
well...off to get the girls.

4 years...4 reasons why i love you.

happy birthday baby. i can't believe that it's been four years since you were born. i can't believe that four years ago, i was eagerly awaiting your arrival into this world. i knew you...but didn't know who you were. i was thrilled beyond belief that you were my little GIRL. i was so excited to give you your name. i loved every inch of you...and swore i would never do it again (we all know that didn't happen). speaking of that...you are amazing at everything you do...including being a big sister. you make me proud every single day.

i love everything about you...but here are the top four today.

1. your imagination...you love to pretend and you are always trying to figure this world out on a consistent basis. we pretend that we have babies, we pretend that we are going to the zoo (and watch you in a dolphin show), we pretend to scuba dive around the house (and look for dog-fish and cat-fish), we go to stella's fish cafe at least once per week...

2. your attitude...you have the most fun and silly attitude. you love life and you love making people laugh. you share your energy and love with so many people.

3. your girliness...you are the girl that i never was. you love pink. you love dresses and skirts. you love things that twirl and sparkle. you love princesses and babies.

4. your independence...as much as it frustrates me at times. you are becoming an independent thinker. you have your opinions and you make them known. you stand up for yourself. you are a talker and a thinker...and always want to discuss things that may be bothering you.

keep it up baby. keep being independent and silly. keep imagining and dreaming. stand up for the things that you believe in - and always believe in yourself. i love you as big as the universe (or galaxy...whichever is bigger).

happy easter

happy easter!

we are enjoying family and friends today...

miss you

not sure if you will read this...
but,
we miss you captain-daddy...
come home quickly!

growing up

i cannot believe that my oldest "baby" will be turning 4 (-F-O-U-R-) on the 28th. she is too quickly moving to being a big person and i'm not sure i'm ready for that. belly reminded me last night, after i begged her to stay 3 for at least another year, that her birthday is coming rather quickly (we counted 19 days).

we have always encouraged finding someone or something to support for her birthday...it limits the # of gifts (toys!) that enter our small space and encourages her to make a discovery that giving is often better than receiving. in the past, we've helped zebras and bunnies...and this year she wants to help horses (that's my girl!) but...i have to say that this has been the HARDEST year to encourage this giving spirit. belly wants to help, but wants to GET presents too. i understand it completely (it's also fun to get sometimes)...and we don't completely eliminate ALL gifts...we just try to reduce the incoming and increase her ability to realize that there are people that need more than she/we does/do. the organization that we found this year, is so thankful and has agreed to let her bring by her donation so that she can meet some of the animals that she will be helping. she has also asked if she can buy them some things (here we come, fleet farm). so we will be making some horsey-related purchases too...i hope that will help her realize what a good thing she is doing.

so in the same blog - i have wished for her to mature enough to make the understanding that giving is good and indicated my desire that i want her to stay little and innocent forever. i can't have both...so i guess i'll just have to be thankful for what she is...right now.

fast forward...

so that last entry had a relatively OLD picture included. now that i've let a few people know about this *blog* (AKA glimpse into our household)...i thought i should include a newer picture!

this was taken by a good family friend, who has just started a new photography "business" (i put that in quotes because i'm not sure how "business" oriented he's trying to make it...) chad - let me know if you want me to include your website. he's good at what he does! we really enjoyed our photo shoot and had so many pictures to choose from...i'll try to include more later.

his business name is Chad Bailey Photography

here is one of our favorites from the shoot (taken at the zoo - one of our favorite places to be!)

hopefully, i'll have more exciting stuff to share in the near future...

have a great day!