apple juice and cookies - stat!

there's nothing like a restless night of sleep interrupted by thunderstorms that woke up belly.

3:30 am...finally got belly back to sleep (boy...does she have a fear of thunder/lightning!) after checking with the weather channel to make sure that the storm was passing.

another hour of so of tossing and turning and then i hear coconut talking in her sleep over the monitor.

quick jump up to check on her...(she usually doesn't talk in her sleep)...a soft sweep of hair out of her face and feel the heat radiating off of her little body. pull her into my arms, grab the thermometer and bring her to bed with me. her hot little self is showing a temp of 101.3. i keep her with me to monitor her temperature. close my eyes thinking about maybe finding someone to watch/play with belly in the morning so that i can focus on coconut.

finally fall asleep.

coconut starts to stir several hours later. cries out in her sleep. i replace the nuk-nuk and start to close my eyes...wishing for just a little more quiet.

CRASH...SCREAM.

i grab coconut and jump out of bed. run to belly's room where she is on her floor. i start to ask if she's ok and she moves her hand away from her chin. and it is covered in blood. there is nothing quite like the color of your own child's blood. it's almost...too red. she saw the blood too...scared her even more.

i jump into action. i call dad to see how quickly he can get to my house. i see my neighbor outside taking out her recycling. i yell for her to see if she can give me some advice. she runs over. belly is sobbing, screaming...i'm holding a tissue against the wound. coconut is frightened by all the commotion (and the fever, i'm sure). neighbor recommends emergency room...the wound seems kinda deep. she offers to watch coconut. i love having a neighbor that will always help in a heartbeat. i quickly administer motrin to coconut, tell neighbor that she loves blueberries and climbing up the slide outside...grab some clothes and put some shorts on belly...under her nightgown. i'm worried about pulling anything over her head.

we jump in the car and run to the nearest hospital...a total of 3 minutes. this is the second time we've needed to get here fast...last time...husband was with me and coconut was coming quickly.

we check in and we wait. she has her vitals taken and we wait. we get registered and we wait.

i'm trying to hide belly from the other patients in the er waiting room. there is a man who has blood (profusely) escaping above his eye. a woman that looks like she is sleeping in a drugged stupor. a mother with a very sick little baby.

i don't want her to get more scared. i try to make her laugh a little.

please don't wake me up like that again tomorrow morning...once a week is good enough.
did you fall out of bed...or did your bearies and puppies (stuffed animals) push you out 'cause it was getting too crowded in there?
boy...you sure woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

i hold her and stroke her hand...i use my hairband to pull her beautiful blond hair out of her eyes. i get to spend a little time one on one with my first...for the first time, in a long while. i see how brave she is trying to be. i see that she's growing in front of my eyes. i see that she is still my baby.

finally we are brought to a room...where we wait. two nurses...a man and a woman...are amazing. they keep checking on us. the woman randomly brings belly a teddy bear...in her favorite color (light pink) with a pretty daylily on it's belly. the man tells her he has a surprise for her when this is all over. (he made chocolate chip cookies last night...and wants to share one with her.)

the doctor checks it out. we need stitches. nothing else will hold. it's deep. they apply a topical numbing medication. we wait.

belly is so scared. she's crying. she doesn't want to get off my lap. i ask her what she is scared about and she wants to know what it will feel like.

wait...no one wrote that in my parenting handbook! i've only had childbirth related stitches...and seriously...there is no telling what pain came from what following a natural birthing process...i have no idea what stitches actually feel like. how do i answer her?

i tell her we'll ask. i distract her by teaching her to say, "apple juice and cookies - stat!" and teasing that - as soon as they are finished...we're running out the door...no looking back.

doctor comes in and wants her to lay down. i forgot to ask. belly screams that to me as she is fighting the nurse trying to get her to lay on the bed. i ask..."she wants to know what it will feel like". the doctor patiently shows her that it will only feel like a movement or tugging on her skin. she calms. i wrap myself over her body, a giant bear hug. i kiss her knees...she wiggles her toes.

i can see everything. later...i tell her..."now i know that you are just as cute on the inside as you are on the outside." secretly...i can't believe that i watched him sew a needle through my daughter's skin. the mama bear in me was tense and watched every detail to make sure he did it right. (he seemed a little shaky...but who wouldn't be with a mama bear watching?) when he's done, she says, "apple juice and cookies - stat!" they laugh. they leave. (and come back with apple juice and two cookies...) they leave to get paperwork...she does the after-stitches dance...we giggle.

she's gonna be fine. 3 stitches...that's hardly anything. we came home and profusely thanked my amazing neighbor. we put coconut down for nap. we called everyone we know and belly relived the story...("and i didn't even cry when he did the stitches!"). boppa stopped by to check on her and restocked the diet coke supply that mommy desperately needed. we went on a shopping adventure to buy a b-day present for tomorrow's party.

the adrenaline slowly dissipated and the girly-girls are asleep.

here's to hoping that no one falls out of bed tonight. here's to life giving me another opportunity to wear my super-mommy cape. here's to watching my first grow...and realizing that she'll always be my baby. i love you as big as the universe, lil'one.

mama guilt

wow.
i've literally paid for hours upon hours of daycare this summer to hold our spots while on summer vacation and used...oh...only about 6 full days worth.

and it's showing.

(well...in the checkbook) AND in the fact that when i dropped the girly-girls off at daycare, coconut was crying her little eyes out. belly complained the whole way there...i think coconut just thought we were on another escapade. but no...then i turned "the turn"...and she realized in that very instant that being with mama is...
ohsoverymuchmorewonderful-causei'mwithmymama.

and at that very same second...i realized how much i am LOVING being with my girls. and how much i was dreading dropping them off. (even when they are driving me a little bonkers).

please don't get me wrong...we love our daycare "family". our providers are wonderful. friends of family friends that i grew up knowing. in my heart, i know that my girls are loved and well cared for and will be safe with them. but, it's just not..."just us - together - the girls".

and i am feeling major mama guilt on both sides of the picture. i feel mama guilt when i bring them and mama guilt when i pay for it and don't.

the more that i keep them home...the more i feel like, i am slowly losing little bits of me. there are so many things that i've lost in my quest to become a mommy...and SO MANY THINGS I'VE GAINED. but sometimes, those lost things really feel so far away and unattainable. and i kinda miss them. it's a discussion that husband and i have had...i feel like i have had to lose (or should i say, change?) so much of myself in order to be a mommy.

-i haven't had the opportunity to jump aboard a horse in how many years? i used to be a damn good rider. i realize that now...i still cry when i realize how affected i was am by my horse passing on.
-i haven't been able to craft and create something to completion. i have so many unfinished projects that are rearing their potentially beautiful heads as i am organizing my new craft area.
-shopping (which used to be enjoyable - when there were no crowds and it was basically an excuse for aimlessly walking - i had to clarify or my mom and sis would laugh at me for saying i actually like doing it)...has become a logistical nightmare...what is the fastest way from point a to point b that will allow me to find shoes for coconut, find shorts for belly, buy dog food (and manuver it to the car while coconut is in her sling and belly is holding onto my purse) and get home before anyone gets hungry or needs a nap (including mommy).
-i haven't slept through the night in years.
-i have very rarely been able to eat a meal without standing up and getting something or tending to someone in such a long time.
-hell...i haven't been able to sit still in a long time.

i am kinda lost.

but...i realize i have gained my entire reasons for being. maybe all of those other things were just that...things to contentedly get me through life until my two little reasons for being alive arrived. i am a mommy.

i might occasionally miss those other parts of me...but i would miss my girly-girls a hell of a lot more.

don't worry, honey...i'm not about to go out and buy another horse anytime soon...but a pony...or two...hmmmmm...

smackdown...

at a family gathering the other day...

coconut was gnawing on my shoulder. no really...
GNAWING on my shoulder.

another (very cool) mama that i've met through family (a kind of a family through family sorta thing)...remarked that her daughter often does something similar to that when she wants to nurse. and she asked if coconut does that same thing?

no...i replied. she usually just smacks me on the face.

and then i realized. how weird is that? why does my little daughter smack me when she wants to nurse? is she the only baby that does that? how and where did she get this hitting thing? (she hits whenever something doesn't go her way...) we don't hit in our house...i try not to even lightly pop a hand when she's touching something that she isn't supposed to. is it inborn...do they just know HOW to do that? belly never did it!

oops. comparisons are no good!

belly was talking at this age...oops - i did it again...

but...
maybe that's the difference. and a light went on for the speech-language pathologist mommy. (imagine that?)

maybe this will just disappear as she acquires more words and language...she's ahead of the game for most one year olds...but i'm sure as this develops further...her alternative means of getting her point across will diminish. a woman can hope...can't she?

for now...we are just doing a lot of praising "nice touches". because any mention of "hitting" brings it on in full force. (oh...you thought THAT was a hit...let me show you a real hit...)

anyone else out there have any tricks that have worked for you to reduce the hitting?

side note...but i have to add it...rainy (our monster cat) just went after belly's leg...and i got them both (girls...not monster cat) laughing by telling rainy to use his nice touches...a little humor can go a long way.

foolin' around...

so, i was fooling around on a site that i found through another blogger (who just happens to have the cutest baby girl)...

and this is what i came up with...

super fun...and easy! try it...

what do you get when you mix...

a toddler (not sure i can officially call her that...still working on those first steps), a preschooler, two crazy parents, a father(in-law) and a tent??

i'm really not sure what it will equal either.

i'll let everyone know how our first official camp went on saturday when we get back!

however...if anyone has any amazing words of advice for camping with kids in tow...i'd love to hear it! please comment with any suggestions or words of wisdom!

wait...no pictures?

looking back over the last several posts...i noticed the complete lack of photographic material.

i mean, isn't that what you are all here for anyways?? surely, you don't really care about my inner thoughts and daily occurrences...

i'm sure what you are really here for are the pictures of my our beautiful girls...so...here ya go.


with added bonus material...
coconut's little friend - T.

and...










belly and her friend C. (aka goose) during their sleepover. -yes, i am that crazy mama that takes pictures of their kiddos while sleeping - no, i did not turn on the light...it was my flash.-









(T and C are bro/sis). and for good measure, here's another one of him...isn't he the cutest (boy, anyways - have you seen my girls?) ? (don't mind the Disney princess ball...that's what happens when you visit an all-girl household)...

it's very fun to have these two around (and their mom and dad aren't too bad, either!) belly and C. are 2 weeks apart in age, and coconut and T. are 4 weeks apart. they are going to grow up together...and i think that's pretty cool. good family, good fun, good friends.

edit to mention...
what is up with that crazy spacing??? i can't figure out how to fix it...and visually it's driving me bonkers. sorry everyone!

am i crazy?

so, belly apparently kissed up to mommy today by telling me several times..."you are the best mommy in the world". yep...i fell for it.

and i have agreed to let her have a sleep over tonight.

oh, i'm sure all y'all out there in blog-land have let your children have numerous sleep-overs by the ripe ol' age of 4. but. being that i don't wish belly's sleep habits upon anyone, i must explain. and on the same token, i'm assuming that none most of you don't have a lil'one with sleep habits like mine.

belly started sleeping through the night at 3 - T.H.R.E.E. - 3. seriously. she's my thinker. she thinks about everything all the time. i'm becoming accustomed to answering questions such as - what is the name of chelsea's (a cousin's) busdriver? - at 11:00 at night. i've since learned the answer...and she's still not an every night, all night sleeper.

so, i recently bribed convinced her that if she slept through the night for a certain number of nights (aka mommy gets more sleep)...she could have a sleep-over with her best friend. (no really, they are BEST friends - they've known each other since the age of 1. they are kinda like twin sisters, but...without the same parents.)

so, am i crazy? i'll post evidence of the bottle of wine that i might have to consume later.

keep in mind, daddy is flying this weekend...and i have a one-year old that still likes to wake up...unless i just bring her in bed with me...hmmmmm...that might be the answer.

stay tuned.

tick-tock...tick-tock...

ever have one of those days where time seems to be S-L-O-W-L-Y creeping by? and you keep looking at the clock, hoping that the time will be something close to 5:00 so that you could start dinnertime? or hoping that, perhaps, you missed it and it's now 6;30 - close enough to start baths?
which means that the babes will be able to be in bed by 7:00????????

instead...it is still only four.two.four. (according to belly). and both coconut and belly are crying - coconut ran into the door frame as she was chasing belly and then belly ran into the chair i'm sitting on as i was consoling coconut.

i want to defend my offspring by saying that they are both TIRED we are ALL TIRED...too much horse-showing/visiting with friends/swimming/playing for one weekend. however, i know that, quite honestly, my children are just really clumsy.

more about our fun weekend later...right now i'm gonna start dinner and get this show on the road!

UPDATE - by five we had dinner, by six we were out of the bath and nursing, and by seven - two girls ASLEEP! i'm praying that they stay asleep at least until it gets dark out...then they just might be fooled into thinking it IS actually nighttime! keep your fingers crossed!

UP-UPDATE - seriously...i'm never doing that again. they were up ALL NIGHT LONG. constantly. it was so not worth it. sleep is for wimps. and apparently, i'm a wimp...because i. need. sleep.

popsicles...

that is just about the only thing that we can keep down in our house right now. ugh.
can you believe ALL of us are sick at the same time?? i kinda think i'm on the mend (fingers crossed)...and jeremy is working (figures). ugh...these are the times that i hate that he is a pilot. this is when i can hardly keep us afloat...not sure if i should be comforting the baby who is crying unconsolably or holding belly's hair while she pukes.
argh. we'll get better soon...but until then...
it's popsicles, popsicles, popsicles.
mmmm.

mommy (s).

wow...it seems that i haven't had much to say this past week. when in reality it was just a busy week (even though i did mention several times that i should blog about this or that).

and i couldn't bear to put something in front of that last picture of cora immediately after being born. that picture so accurately portrays the raw emotion and love that occurs after a baby is born. it's not a pretty picture by any means. but it is my favorite picture of her birth. and it takes every inch of me back to that very moment in time. i feel that deep instinct of love all over again. it's like seeing a dream fulfilled.

on another note. my mom is in the hospital. super sucks. she has a falls risk bracelet on...that kinda makes me laugh, not because it's funny...but because it's so real. (anything written on jewelry seems real to me). she was sick last weekend and over the week developed pain during walking. by thursday she couldn't walk at all and was brought to the emergency room. (happy mother's day). she's been at the hospital since thursday. luckily (dare i say that?) we found out that she has diabetes. my mom is a strong, willful and determined lady. i think that she will accept that diagnosis and the dietary changes that are going to be necessary to control it. i also think that she loves her granddaughters (and us) so much that she WILL control it, in order to be more healthy for them. we're not sure at this point, what the walking pain is from...infection, arthritis, a combination of both?? but, i think she's getting better - or is that just the pain meds :). hopefully she'll be going home soon. lucky us...we get to keep henry (the dog) a little while longer. - like my house wasn't busy enough, but it's the least i can do...she's my mommy. -

mother's day. (besides my mom being in the hospital). it was good. stella pulled out the cards that out-of-town daddy had hidden in her shirt drawer (needless to say - i found them the day after he left when i was getting her dressed - did he not think i was going to put a shirt on her this week?) anyhoo...i "hid" them again...and she pulled them out yesterday and brought them to me in bed (she was pretty insistent that i must be IN BED for the opening of the cards). honestly, i just thought i was getting cards...husband (and the girls) had inserted a gift card for a spa day! and not just a little spa day - a HUGE spa day. i cannot wait. i'm gonna get a massage - a pedicure - maybe a manicure. we'll see. they circled the hawaiian massage, manicure and pedicure...but we'll see. i might mix it up a bit. doesn't a hawaiian massage sound lovely? i'll describe it in more detail later.

another note. my best friend - the new mother...was sending her mommy back home after, i think, close to 3 weeks of having her around to help with the new little baby S. i really feel for her. they have a great relationship and her mom is so wonderful. i really hope things are going well...and i can't wait to visit. so many new babies and mommies around us lately. baby fever.

happy mother's day to all.

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body..." -- Elizabeth Stone

1 year old...

hi coconut.

you are one year old today and i can hardly believe it!

in keeping with my birthday blog themes...

here is one big reason why i love you...

I LOVE YOUR LAUGH.

you giggle and laugh all the time, you have a deep laugh when you find something to be really funny (most often centered around your big sister), you are so ticklish and giggle when we even mention it. your laughter has brought so much more laughter into this house. you make us giggle all the time. you can break a bad mood with your silliness or a single word. (and you find yourself just as funny!) thank you for making us smile more.

through the years, i hope that you keep your happy carefree attitude. i hope that you laugh more than you cry. i hope that you live life with a smile and the realization that the glass is always half full.

i love you sunshine...thank you for being my little girl.

almost...almost...

hey baby...

are you really gonna be one tomorrow? are you?

i can't believe how much you (and i) have grown over this past year...

exactly one year ago...right now...

- i had just heard the pop pop pop of my water breaking

- i immediately had a overwhelming feeling of fear and excitement and nervousness and urgency

- i wondered how i was ever going to be able to take care of two

- i couldn't figure out how i was going to take both of you to target (who sits where in the cart?)

- i was telling daddy to call boppa (just in case...ha ha ha)

- i was calling my AMAZING midwife to get her ready

- i was attempting to take a shower to see if that would ease things up

- i couldn't believe that i was going to be in the hospital at the same time as your auntie (and brand new cousin a - who was born on the second)

- i was trying to breathe between contractions that seemed to be jumping atop each other

- i had no idea how fast and furious this labor would be

- i was dying to meet you and see you and hold you and kiss you

i was on my way to being a mommy of two...i am so lucky to have you, my little coconut. you really are growing in front of my eyes, right now...

- you seem to LOVE elephants...you make an elephant noise whenever you hear the E word

- you say "oh" and pat people on the back during hugs

- you put up one pointer finger when people say you are gonna be one

- you clap whenever someone says "good job" or "yeah!"

- you dance whenever someone sings "we're following the leader, the leader, the leader..."

- you are saying SO MANY words - new words everyday!

- you love taking a bath, you crawl towards the bathroom as soon as bathtime is mentioned

- you love talking to daddy on the phone...but you mainly just push buttons

- you twirl your hair when you are shy or nervous

- you love to cuddle in the morning when you wake up

- you still love to nurse

mommy-hood...

i just came across this contest...
your picture is worth a thousand words dollars motherhood contest...through 5 minutes for mom and eggbeaters. they asked readers to submit pictures that show what motherhood means to them.
i am entering these two pictures...(i just can't make up my mind - thoughtful or real...oooo the tough decisions i must make!)
the first...


this is motherhood at it's finest. the first moment of big sister meeting little sister. i cried and cried the moment that they met, truly met, for the first time. it was as if this dream that i had been waiting and wishing for, was unfolding in front of my eyes. it was watching two best friends meet for the first time, knowing how special their relationship will be, at a time when they really have no idea what is in store. it was seeing the truest sparkle in big sister's eyes at the wonderment of a new baby.


and next...

a real MOMMY moment...trying to get a cute picture of both of the girls when baby is trying to squirm away and toddler is showing an uncomfortable face because she has to go potty and mommy asked her to "please please just wait wait there one more minute hold on to her tighter hey hey baby smile peek-a-boo peek-a-boo baby no no belly look at mommy ...i've almost got it..." oops. needless to say, immediately after this picture was taken, mommy grabbed her purse, left the stroller on the hill and we ran to the nearest restroom...

hope mommy-hood is as bright for you as it is for me! (and just think how much brighter things would look with 1000 extra doll-hairs!) it is definitely something that i wouldn't change for the world...(or extra sleep). the no sleep rather sucks...but i'll take it any day over not having them. i love you girly-girls...you make me a better person.

all together now...

a cute shot of them together...

helping sister stand... peek-a-boo fun... typical personalities!

the similarities are amazing...

wow.

the similarities in their appearance amaze me daily...the differences in their personalities are endless. so funny, given that people often remark that belly looks like daddy and coconut looks like me...i'm not sure about the personalities...on a good day...i think they are more like me. :)

dear little one...

hey little one...
your mommy told me you are coming soon...and i am so excited to meet you.

you come from an amazing family...not just your mommy and daddy, but your grandparents and your uncles and aunts. so many people that are family and friends, eagerly awaiting your arrival and anticipating the announcement of who YOU are. it is often said...
it takes a village to raise a child.
and i think you have a pretty spectacular village surrounding you.

your mommy is my best friend. we've known each other for a very very long time. she has a heart of gold and a smile that shines. she makes me laugh and brings oodles of sunshine into the lives of so many people.
your daddy is a prince...(your mommy always wanted one of those). he loves her (and you) so much. he is a good friend and i'm sure he will teach you so much about life and friendship and love. he makes your mommy shine more.
your grandparents and uncles and aunts are looking forward to spoiling you silly. they love you already and are so excited to show you the depths of their love.
there are multitudes of friends in many different places that are awaiting your arrival and have many other little ones that are your soon-to-be friends.

it's a pretty good village, if i do say so myself.

now onto a letter for your mommy...
sar-bear...there are so many things that i want to share with you as you take this one-way train into mommy-hood. but, honestly, i can not come up with a single word that fulfills what i want to say. but i'm gonna try anyways...
i am so excited to KNOW *sara, the mommy* in addition to *sara, my best friend*. you are bound to be amazing throughout this journey. i don't want to fill you with unnecessary advice. i just want to be a supportive wall that you can come to when you are having troubles or need someone to lean on. i want to be your giving tree.
LOVE...the instantaneous love that you will feel is amazing and undeniable. there is a true animal instinct that will connect you to your baby. some people feel it more quickly than others...but i think it's always there...just more deeply buried. the love is very hard to explain and words almost diminish it.
CHANGE...this will change you. not good or bad...it just changes you. and it is very different from the love you feel for mike or your parents or me :). it is undescribable.
EXPECT...you have to expect the unexpected. plain and simple. if you start having expectations, lil' bebe will send those packing immediately.
ENJOY...you have to relish every minute of this journey. you don't have to (and probably won't) enjoy all of it...in fact, i'd be bothered if you did! there are moments that absolutely suck. but you have to be willing to look back and laugh at those times. and you will, sooner or later, you will.
CHERISH...the little things. cherish the baby smell. cherish the way baby's hands curl when sleeping. cherish baby's subtle squeaks and squeals. they change so quickly...but you will always remember.
i heard somewhere...these are the longest minutes and the shortest years that you will ever know. perfectly said. cuddle that baby for me and tell baby, "there is an 'auntie' jen-men out there waiting for the opportunity to meet you."
congratulations on your new name, mommy. i love you.

up up up up up up-dates...

- mama. saturday's count of mamas - non-existant. daddy let me sleep in that morning...after being up for less than an hour...i had made it to 100. what? apparently that's as high as i can count. i guess we need to guesstimate. 1200?? oops...minus the 2 hours of naps. 1000. well...at least 1000 in the 8:30 am-8:30 pm range of time.

- daddy...come home already. we miss you. you drove us all (including yourself) a little crazy when you were around for practically 3 weeks. but now that you've been gone for 3 days. we miss you again.

- work. let's not even go there. blah blah blah. it's boring information about myself anyways.

- did i really just hear a forecast for possible snow again? ugh. (mother nature if you are listening...i'm done with winter!)

- coconut's gonna be 1! she turned 11 months on the 3rd. i can't believe it. she's pointing to everything and saying "dat?" she pointed at skye-dog the other day, turned to boppa, and said "dog". (just in case, he didn't know). very cute. she gets so excited when her mama walks in a room. (she's definitely a mama's girl - i love it.)

- i've officially decided on pink for my new crafting area. i'm excited to start trying some digital scrapbooking stuff i've been reading about here. (oooo, i just figured out how to do a link...i've been meaning to try that!) this summer is going to be all about fun with the girls and rediscovering my love of craft stuff. maybe i can actually finish the girls' scrapbooks with this digital idea?? we'll see. i've found some wonderful blogging mommy's that are using it...and they've given me some ideas. i might just have to "purchase" before the summer so that it doesn't come down to money (argh...school year paycheck).
well...off to get the girls.

mamamamamamamamamama

coconut DEFINITELY has at least one word.
mama.
mama.
mama.
it's pretty frustrating.
it's pretty constant.
it means -
mama pick me up, mama i'm all done, mama i want something/anything/outta here, mama she's bothering me, mama he's bothering me, mama i see you, mama are you there, mama i'm not sleeping, mama i wanna sleep, mama i don't wanna sleep, mama i wanna eat, mama i don't wanna eat, mama where are you going, mama when are you going to be back, mama i love you.
that's the best one...when you pick her up and she pats you on the back and says "mama".
the speech-language pathologist in me was really excited to hear her first words.
the mommy in me is really excited to listen to her say mommy.
the individual in me gets really tired when i hear it constantly.
i forgot how many times mommy/mom/mama could be used in a 24 hour period. (i'll calculate that for tomorrow...wait, no, i'll calculate that on saturday when we all together for 24 hours...or more excitingly...i'll calculate that both tomorrow AND saturday and we'll have a comparison).
oh, now a reader will check back to see if i actually did it.
know where to get one of those counter thingys that people use? i have a feeling i'm gonna need one - paper and pencil just won't work - and the mommy brain will NOT remember it.
oooo, it's a cliffhanger...check back.

4 years...4 reasons why i love you.

happy birthday baby. i can't believe that it's been four years since you were born. i can't believe that four years ago, i was eagerly awaiting your arrival into this world. i knew you...but didn't know who you were. i was thrilled beyond belief that you were my little GIRL. i was so excited to give you your name. i loved every inch of you...and swore i would never do it again (we all know that didn't happen). speaking of that...you are amazing at everything you do...including being a big sister. you make me proud every single day.

i love everything about you...but here are the top four today.

1. your imagination...you love to pretend and you are always trying to figure this world out on a consistent basis. we pretend that we have babies, we pretend that we are going to the zoo (and watch you in a dolphin show), we pretend to scuba dive around the house (and look for dog-fish and cat-fish), we go to stella's fish cafe at least once per week...

2. your attitude...you have the most fun and silly attitude. you love life and you love making people laugh. you share your energy and love with so many people.

3. your girliness...you are the girl that i never was. you love pink. you love dresses and skirts. you love things that twirl and sparkle. you love princesses and babies.

4. your independence...as much as it frustrates me at times. you are becoming an independent thinker. you have your opinions and you make them known. you stand up for yourself. you are a talker and a thinker...and always want to discuss things that may be bothering you.

keep it up baby. keep being independent and silly. keep imagining and dreaming. stand up for the things that you believe in - and always believe in yourself. i love you as big as the universe (or galaxy...whichever is bigger).

yipee!

last night i actually created a list with all of the things that i need to write about on here sometime during my spring break. it looked like this:

- easter (and how we hopped around - thanks v...that makes me laugh)

- birthday plans (for my belly's party)

- spring break (and all the not-so-exciting things that i have planned)

- my good friend becoming a mommy (and me breaking down when i think about it)

- giving your marriage a spark (sounds interesting doesn't it?)

but all i really want to shout from the rooftops right now is:

COCONUT SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!

i know i know...all the baby books say that it should have happened earlier. but belly didn't sleep through the night until she was 3...yes, you read that right - 3! so at 10 months my baby might not be as active (walking) or as verbal (talking) as her big sister...but i might just be able to have a stretch of sleep that i so dream of! don't worry - i just knocked on wood. (oh - and add a discussion on my favorite pieces of furniture from my favorite store). it was lovely...i actually awoke at 7:00 before both of the girls! and now i have some time to do something like this! yeah me! now i get to actually plan my day before getting immersed in it...wow...neat concept! and drink a cup of coffee?? oh my goodness...

hmmm....let's see. girls dressed and to daycare (i know...horrible mommy...but i have so much i want to get done - and it is SO much easier minus girls)...fabric store (for belly and for a baby that i can't wait to meet)...paint store (to look at samples for my new craft area in our house...thank you...oh maybe a discussion about that too)...home to pick up a little...work out...and pick up girls. full day...best get going! oh and i'm hearing a "mommmmmmmmy..." but it's from belly...maybe i should check on coconut too?? see ya.