a letter to my husband on a day 9 days past his actual 36th birthday.

dear husband,

i fretted a little knowing that i hadn't bought you a birthday present the day before your birthday. 

and then the washing machine not-so-lovingly obliged by disintegrating it's motor (in a rather smelly fashion)... which forced me to realize that it was almost better that i had yet to spend money on you ... because ... well ... you were about to get a new washing machine for your birthday!

and then, that afternoon ... the garbage disposal died.  and ... yippee!  you were going to get one of those too!

and yet?  we celebrated you turning a number that can be rounded up to forty

with a gigantic leaf pile, a bonfire, hotdogs and s'mores. 

because that's what you wanted.

topped off with family.  and friends who are LIKE family.

because you realize THAT is what is most important in your life.

oh.  and cheetos.

because cheetos.  are important.  and yummy.

and messy.

and every year i think back on how i've always wanted to get you

something that's really you for your birthday.

about how i thought about that when we were dating.

and when we were first married.

how i would love to give you a grand present.

one that i had to scrimp and save secretly for.

something that could surprise you.

and how i woulda thought i could have done that by now.

and i sit here and realize ...

that truly?

what you want.  is already here.

your wishes have evolved to include things like me.

and these three beautiful children that we have created and love.  together.

and time to enjoy them.

 though i'm pretty sure that you would still take that corvette if i could afford it.

you are truly the love of my life.
happy birthday.