apple juice and cookies - stat!

there's nothing like a restless night of sleep interrupted by thunderstorms that woke up belly.

3:30 am...finally got belly back to sleep (boy...does she have a fear of thunder/lightning!) after checking with the weather channel to make sure that the storm was passing.

another hour of so of tossing and turning and then i hear coconut talking in her sleep over the monitor.

quick jump up to check on her...(she usually doesn't talk in her sleep)...a soft sweep of hair out of her face and feel the heat radiating off of her little body. pull her into my arms, grab the thermometer and bring her to bed with me. her hot little self is showing a temp of 101.3. i keep her with me to monitor her temperature. close my eyes thinking about maybe finding someone to watch/play with belly in the morning so that i can focus on coconut.

finally fall asleep.

coconut starts to stir several hours later. cries out in her sleep. i replace the nuk-nuk and start to close my eyes...wishing for just a little more quiet.

CRASH...SCREAM.

i grab coconut and jump out of bed. run to belly's room where she is on her floor. i start to ask if she's ok and she moves her hand away from her chin. and it is covered in blood. there is nothing quite like the color of your own child's blood. it's almost...too red. she saw the blood too...scared her even more.

i jump into action. i call dad to see how quickly he can get to my house. i see my neighbor outside taking out her recycling. i yell for her to see if she can give me some advice. she runs over. belly is sobbing, screaming...i'm holding a tissue against the wound. coconut is frightened by all the commotion (and the fever, i'm sure). neighbor recommends emergency room...the wound seems kinda deep. she offers to watch coconut. i love having a neighbor that will always help in a heartbeat. i quickly administer motrin to coconut, tell neighbor that she loves blueberries and climbing up the slide outside...grab some clothes and put some shorts on belly...under her nightgown. i'm worried about pulling anything over her head.

we jump in the car and run to the nearest hospital...a total of 3 minutes. this is the second time we've needed to get here fast...last time...husband was with me and coconut was coming quickly.

we check in and we wait. she has her vitals taken and we wait. we get registered and we wait.

i'm trying to hide belly from the other patients in the er waiting room. there is a man who has blood (profusely) escaping above his eye. a woman that looks like she is sleeping in a drugged stupor. a mother with a very sick little baby.

i don't want her to get more scared. i try to make her laugh a little.

please don't wake me up like that again tomorrow morning...once a week is good enough.
did you fall out of bed...or did your bearies and puppies (stuffed animals) push you out 'cause it was getting too crowded in there?
boy...you sure woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

i hold her and stroke her hand...i use my hairband to pull her beautiful blond hair out of her eyes. i get to spend a little time one on one with my first...for the first time, in a long while. i see how brave she is trying to be. i see that she's growing in front of my eyes. i see that she is still my baby.

finally we are brought to a room...where we wait. two nurses...a man and a woman...are amazing. they keep checking on us. the woman randomly brings belly a teddy bear...in her favorite color (light pink) with a pretty daylily on it's belly. the man tells her he has a surprise for her when this is all over. (he made chocolate chip cookies last night...and wants to share one with her.)

the doctor checks it out. we need stitches. nothing else will hold. it's deep. they apply a topical numbing medication. we wait.

belly is so scared. she's crying. she doesn't want to get off my lap. i ask her what she is scared about and she wants to know what it will feel like.

wait...no one wrote that in my parenting handbook! i've only had childbirth related stitches...and seriously...there is no telling what pain came from what following a natural birthing process...i have no idea what stitches actually feel like. how do i answer her?

i tell her we'll ask. i distract her by teaching her to say, "apple juice and cookies - stat!" and teasing that - as soon as they are finished...we're running out the door...no looking back.

doctor comes in and wants her to lay down. i forgot to ask. belly screams that to me as she is fighting the nurse trying to get her to lay on the bed. i ask..."she wants to know what it will feel like". the doctor patiently shows her that it will only feel like a movement or tugging on her skin. she calms. i wrap myself over her body, a giant bear hug. i kiss her knees...she wiggles her toes.

i can see everything. later...i tell her..."now i know that you are just as cute on the inside as you are on the outside." secretly...i can't believe that i watched him sew a needle through my daughter's skin. the mama bear in me was tense and watched every detail to make sure he did it right. (he seemed a little shaky...but who wouldn't be with a mama bear watching?) when he's done, she says, "apple juice and cookies - stat!" they laugh. they leave. (and come back with apple juice and two cookies...) they leave to get paperwork...she does the after-stitches dance...we giggle.

she's gonna be fine. 3 stitches...that's hardly anything. we came home and profusely thanked my amazing neighbor. we put coconut down for nap. we called everyone we know and belly relived the story...("and i didn't even cry when he did the stitches!"). boppa stopped by to check on her and restocked the diet coke supply that mommy desperately needed. we went on a shopping adventure to buy a b-day present for tomorrow's party.

the adrenaline slowly dissipated and the girly-girls are asleep.

here's to hoping that no one falls out of bed tonight. here's to life giving me another opportunity to wear my super-mommy cape. here's to watching my first grow...and realizing that she'll always be my baby. i love you as big as the universe, lil'one.