Monday, April 2, 2012

eight. {what.ever.}

i sit quietly (while the tv watches the littler ones) upon the couch with a snoring dog behind me and a cup of warm coffee in my hands. 

she stands directly between the tall straight trunk of a pine tree and the twisted up trunk of a crabapple tree.  sometimes her face disappears behind the bough of pine ... but i can always see her feet.  she bounces and wiggles.  she stands bored waiting for the school bus. 
five minutes ...
ten minutes ...
the bus is never on time. 

earlier i knocked upon the window and flashed her an "i love you" ... she rolled her eyes. 
is this eight?
and so i knocked again and again and again against the glass pane of the window.  determined to make her smile and flash me the appropriate response.
she finally flashed me a simple i love you ... behind her back. 

i swear last week ... (long before eight hit) ... she would send an i love you right back to me.  and now ... this? 
man.  i'm so not sure that i'm ready for eight.

dear stella ... promise me that you'll always love me in the deepest part of your heart ... even when you roll your eyes and say whatever. 
and also?
the eight things that i love about you.  (because that's what i do.  7. 6. 5. 4. see?)

the silly that you are ... you make me laugh so much lately with your antics and goofiness.  pausing to be a leprechaun in the middle of a game of tag to stun the tagger.  you make me giggle ... and it's funny watching it be a silly in a way that is actually really silly and not just cute because you're little and funny.  i love that you have a wonderful sense of humor.

how much you love your siblings and your family ... even though you drive them crazy sometimes.  you love fully ... i think i may have said that about you a million times over.  you love.  you always have and i'm sure you always will.  i just hope that you never have to realize that love can break your heart sometimes.  i promise you ... there is always more love just around the bend.  and if you ever think that the one you loved got away ... please know that the right person just hasn't gotten there yet.  i promise.
your helpfulness.  even though sometimes i have to beg you several times and then bribe you with candy ... you still help me so much.  i don't know what i would do without you.  seriously.  thank you for that. 
your love of music.  you want so much to play the piano and sing.  i love to hear your making up songs and writing your own music.  i love that you sing and dance.  i love listening to your (finally!) rather on-key performances.  you remind me of me at this age.

your art.  you are becoming a wonderful artist.  now if we can just get you past the need for perfection ... all will be lovely and perfect. 

your poetry and stories.  you love to write.  hmmm.  wonder where that comes from? 

your imagination.  it runs.  wild at times.  but it's there always with a story ... please don't ever lose it.  learn to harness it and create and astound people the world around with your imagination.  don't stifle it and put it in a box in the attic.  please.

your smile.  your true smile ... crooked teeth showing.  a howl of laughter.  relaxed and carefree. 

my stelly-belly.
i watched you on the eve on your 8th birthday as you blew out the candles and hugged your relatives ... and i couldn't believe that i am lucky enough to have you in my life.  i'm not sure what i did to become so blessed with such an amazing person.  but i'm thankful that i did it. 
stay true to yourself.  don't get too bossy.  be happy.  don't fret so much.  trust yourself.  enjoy life.
and please pick up your room ... just once in awhile ... without me having to beg and bribe?

love you as big as the universe.


Sprite's Keeper said...

Beautiful words.
Happy birthday, Stella!

Emily Rose said...

Now, you've made me cry twice today! I've got to stop reading and get ready for work. You are a deeply beautiful mother.