presenting ... my ... six year old.

stellers.
whew.  i'm tired.  this year has been a whirlwind of changes and adjustments and crazy.  a whole lotta crazy. 

and in the midst of it all ... you are growing up. though six didn't scare me as much as five did.  i haven't begged for you to stay five.  (and i'm pretty sure at this point, i'm not going to be begging for six to stick around either.)

and can i just start all of this by saying ... you, my dear?  are driving me to crazy-town. 
please oh please tell me that this isn't a glimpse of what our teenage years are going to look like.  because wow.  you are drama in a handbasket. 

(dear reader ... yes you ... with the toddlers and the babies? ... just. wait.)










and dearest belly ... i hope you use it.

does that make any sense? 

use what you have.  use the who of who you are. 

use it to make this world a better place. 

because, darling.  this world scares the bejeezus outta your mama some days. 

and i can only hope that i'm raising you to be a person that will make it better for everyone. 

because you will.  i know it.  i've known it since you were a wee-babe.  you are someone that is going to do something.  something grand.  it's been there in your eyes.  in your heart.  in you.
that something grand may ultimately be seemingly little.  it may be hugely big.  but it will be something.  and i can't wait to be there to see it unfold.

and with that? 
i present to you ... the six things that i love most about you.  right now. 

which is ultimately a bit late ... because of course i didn't have my shit together on time. 
and the reason why i'm publishing it tonight ... approximately 3 months and 10 days past your sixth birthday?  because your little brother is going to be six months at the end of july.  and i needed to get this done first. 

one.  your heart. 
you care so much about people and things.  about people you don't know.  about people you've only heard about.  you care.  i watch you interacting with friends at school.  including some of mommy's kids ... and you are so patient and loving and careful.  you are kind. 

two.  your singing voice.
most of the time ... i'm sorry ... but it's awful.  though carefree ... and you belt out your favorite tunes like nobody's business.  half the time ... you don't really know the words.  but who cares?  it's the emotion that counts, right?  and you love music.  all music.  laurie berkner, the okee-dokee brothers, jack johnson, frente, hannah montana, jason mraz ... and you know the number of your favorite song on every cd. 

three.  your memory.
you?  are an elephant.  kinda.  you never forget.  anything.  keep this going.  this will SO come in handy someday. i promise.

four.  your creativity.
you are a creative soul.  you love color.  it shows in your art and in your clothing choices.  i try really really hard not to corral it.  i want you to grow up being proud of yourself and of who you are.  not second guessing yourself.  live it up baby.  someday?  you won't be able to pull off the striped pants with a polka dot skirt and a ruffley top. 

five.  your smile.
you have the most beautiful smile.  i want you to smile more.  it breaks my heart knowing that you are a little stress bucket type-a personality.  because that's just kind of who you are ... but when you smile?  you light up the room.  and i want all the light i can get.  we'll keep working on it together.  i promise.  that glass is ALWAYS at least half full.  mm-kay?  and if it doesn't look like it?  i'll find a way to make it half full.

six.  ok ... fine.  i love your drama.
and i'm not saying that it doesn't drive me absolutely bonkers most days.  but i love it because ... dear god ... you are a spit fire.  and someday?  someday ... that will make me so proud. 

you are my heart. 
you were the one that finally gave me the name, mommy.
and that is the most beautiful gift that i have ever been given.  thank you for that.
i love you.
as big as the universe ... baby girl.