an actual textversation between my dad and i.

alternately titled ... it's amazing that i turned out normal with genes like these.
alternately alternately titled ... dear husband.  this may or may not be why i occasionally go over my allotted # of texts in a month.

my dad has recently developed a fondness for these ...

long handled woofahs.

yes.
you read that right ... it's called a woofah.  right right RIGHT??
just stick with me here.  oh.  and bytheway ... it's my blog. 

so, yeah.  dad loves his woofah.
(say it aloud.  woofah ... woofah ... woo! fah!  so. much. more. fun.)

poor dad couldn't remember what these things were called a few weeks back ... and so my sister and i kindly helped jog his vocabulary memory - woofah - while giggling ... and offering to bring him to a store so that he can ask where the woofahs are. 

not because we told him the wrong word ... just because we are SO very helpful. 

he didn't take us up on that offer ... yet. 
though now?  he might just have to.  here's why ...

late last night i received a text from my sister indicating that dad "is showering at my house."  which generally takes an hour or so.  which i believe has a lot to do with the woofahs.  oh yes.  there are two.  the long handled variety.  and the infamous woofah on a wope.

i make that assumption because my showers last a total of 2 minutes.  probably because. i. don't. use. woofahs.

and a few hours later a picture text arrived with the message ... "dad forgot his woofah handle"

this is where it went from there ... i decided to inquire about whether or not dad realized that he forgot his woofah handle.

me ... got woofah?
dad ... ??

me ... apparently you mysteriously left just the handle of a woofah at lulu's house.
dad ... stepped on it.

me ... or maybe you were violently woofah-ing.

dad ...i was using it to get wax out of my ear, sneezed, and when i, without thinking about the woofah in my ear, tried to cover my nose with my hand, i snapped the woo
dad (take two) ... fah handle off in my ear.

me ... you were using your woofah in your ear?  wtf?

dad ... yes, so what, i stopped using bent paper clips cuz they break off in my ear.  happy days are here again ...

me to my sister lulu ... i think we need to have a woofah intervention with dad.

and then back to dad ... how the hell do you fit a woofah in. your. ear.?
dad ... i use razor blades to carve the handle into a thin, sharp-edged, rod that i can get deep into my ear and i scrape the wax out.  i'm saving it and am going to mak
dad (take two) ... e candles for xmas gifts this year.

me ... that's just plain gross.
dad ... you asked.

me ... stella said we don't need any candles.  and yes.  i told her the entire story.  so now she is completely aware of you and your weirdness.
dad ... leave my grandkids out of this...

alternately alternately alternately titled ... these are the kinds of things that help me get through a first week back at school with a smile on my face.