Thursday, January 15, 2009

what if ...

again ... we were given an assignment this week.

(look here if you have no idea what i'm talking about ... spriteskeeper ... spin cycle ... moving on ...)

i was mentally stewing (believe it or not ... i edited ... i had written ... mentally stewing in my mind ... really jen? in your mind? crazy ...) what action or decision in my life that i wanted to question.

did i forget to mention the assignment (for those of you that are too lazy to click on the links...)???

what if ...

ok ... back to me thinking about what to write ...

i noticed a phone message from my husband.

"hey honey ... just wanted to make sure that you knew that the plane crash that you are bound to hear about soon ... wasn't me. i'm safe. i love you. bye."

'cause my husband is an airline pilot based out of the same airport on the same airline.

and i know that we all have a job or a life that require us to drive or fly or boat or bike or hell ... even walk ... and something could happen to anyone of us at anytime.

but sometimes ... those well publicized moments hit a little too close to home.

and i don't even want to think about the what ifs ...

in fact ... more importantly ...

i don't want my children to see or think about the what ifs. i refuse to talk about the fact that planes can crash. i never let a television channel linger on a show documenting a plane crash. today, as desperately as i wanted to know how all of those people were doing ... i could not force myself to turn on the news in front of them. because that plane sitting in the middle of the hudson river ... had a man in it ... that was a lot like daddy.

and i just want to keep the naivety a wee bit longer.

there are plenty of years to know that bad things can happen. it's hard enough knowing that your daddy leaves every week and you won't see him for 3 to 5 or so days. i don't want them worrying that it might be ... could be longer ... or even forever.

'cause that's a lot of worry for a little heart.

and as much as he drives me insane occasionally ... i cannot fathom the what if.

so ... not tonight, spriteskeeper.

i'll think about a what if ... some other day.

what happened today? is a great reminder of how well these guys are trained. the ones that i know rather well ... their minds run like a checklist (note - husband driving me insane occasionally) ... they are trained to stay calm and respond appropriately ... it comforts me. more than you would ever know.

to the loveofmylife? get home soon. i miss you. and i love you. life feels better when you are here.

20 comments:

Nicole said...

I'm so glad he's safe. I had coworkers asking if my pilot was in the crash...which was touching because they were concerned, but funny because they know he's based in ATL with another airline.

I went through a lot of those "what if" moments when he was working on his private in a really questionable 1964 Cessna.

DeeMarie said...

Oh I can't imagine how you would've felt if he hadn't called first!! That pilot was truly impressive. And the fact that the plane didn't sink? A miracle. I give so much credit to pilots and anyone in the airline industry (and their loved ones)... it's a hard job and they generally are only noticed when something's gone wrong. I'm so thankful no one was hurt. And I'm grateful for you that he wasn't involved. No what ifs today.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I'm glad it wasn't him. I'm glad that "what if" didn't knock on your door. Great way to decline, Jen.
You're still linked!

Cpt. J's Wife said...

I am so glad to hear that your DH is safe and will be coming home to his family =)

3 Peas in a Pod said...

I'm so happy it wasn't your hubby on that plane although everyone was ok. I live 45 minutes from the Hudson River, do you live in NY/NJ area? It's bitterly cold and all I could think about yesterday was that I didn't want to walk in my garage w/o my coat on let alone those poor people (and little children) who were outside w/o coats and wet and were scared to death. Kudos to the pilot for getting everyone home safe and sound!

I love that your hubby left you a note :) and happy that he's ok.

Laufa said...

So glad the what if's didn't get the best of you and that your hubby is a-ok!!

Kelly said...

Oh, how scary! I'm sorry you had to worry for even a nanosecond or play that out! Such a sweet hubby to write you that note!!

Heather said...

Great "what if" post. My daughter saw it on the news this morning and her worry was... how did the mommies jump in the water if they had babies with them? Oh, and why are birds so stupid?
Sooo, glad that your hubby wasn't on "that" plane!!!

April said...

Jen,
Thanks for stopping by my blog. It is always fun to hear from somebody new!
Good luck with your photo challenge ... looks like a lot of fun!
Stay warm,
April (in a Chicago suburb ... how about you?)

Connie Weiss said...

Oh my. My heart just stopped for a minute there.

So glad that your hubby is safe and that this water landing was not a disaster. What a fabulously skilled pilot that man is!

Lesha said...

So glad to hear he's safe. I have a friend and her husband is a flight attendant for that airline based out of Charlotte. She was my first phone call and he wasn't on the flight too. She had been getting lots of calls.

And thank goodness for the amazing training and skill that pilot had. I can't imagine being any part of that flight. I'm so glad everyone was safe.

Allison said...

Great post - I give you a lot of credit. the sleep you must lose some times until you get a phone call... my husband works nights 12 hr shifts, but at least I know he is safely on the ground... I was so happy to here the happy ending from "the miracle on the Hudson".

PsychMamma said...

What a wonderful post. Whenever my mind goes to those sorts of "what ifs" I have to switch the mental channel. It's just too overwhelming.

How thoughtful of your Hubby to call, and how awful it must have been for all those families who were waiting for calls. I'm so glad the story ended the way it did. Thank goodness for calm and centered pilots.

Give that guy a big hug when he comes home. I bet it shook him up a bit too.

anymommy said...

That is a scary what if. I did watch the whole thing on CNN and the landing and rescue were amazing. The pilots are true heroes.

I am so very glad that your husband didn't have to be the hero and that he's safe.

anymommy said...

P.S. I think your hair looks really cute!

Anonymous said...

So, you guys are the first people I thought about when I heard about the crash. And..I am totally crying now after reading your post. I am so glad that your family is safe, healthy, whole - Jen..we think about you guys here so often..wish you were closer...

b - your nd friend.. :)

Casey said...

Ugh, that was so scary and that pilot was amazing. I read somewhere that he was a fighter pilot years back. Great what if, I worry about things like that all the time.

supah ~d said...

oh my ... your heart... how you must have felt hearing that message..

ughhh
thank you to him and all those out there who keep us safe in those situations...

d

goodfather said...

Awesome post - I'm glad it wasn't your husband, and that he's safe. So cool of him to leave you that message. I think all airline pilots should be commended every single day.

That said, please don't visit my latest blog post. Out of utter admiration for the pilots of flight 1549, I posted the CNN video you are understandably avoiding.

bernthis said...

I love your husband and his fellow pilots for being the kind that love to follow checklists. I thank them every single time I get off a plane.