Sunday, August 14, 2011

no.

i say no.
i say please walk.
i say use your inside voice.  (except for cora ... who i tell "talk like this." girl has no volume control. whatsoever.)

i tell them to stand up and sit down.
i tell them to look and to say hi.
i tell them to count to 10 and go inside.  (except for stella ... who would much prefer to be inside anyways.  couch potato.  kinda.)

i ask tell them to clean their room.
i ask tell them to feed the dog.
i ask tell them to pick up 10 things that are out of place.  (and two of them do.  after a few threats of losses of those important things in life.  like food.  or a bed.  or a morning cartoon.)

i try.
i try really really hard to be the best mama i can be.
i try not to do too much.
and i try to do just enough.
but that's hard too.
really really hard.

i think what i'm trying to say is that i want to do good by my children ... but i lie awake at night worrying that by doing and saying too much that i'm actually doing a disservice to them ... am i?  i don't know.
i just don't know.

i want more than anything for them to be free creative thinkers.  i want them to exude happiness.  i want them to be amazingly wonderful people that do amazingly wonderful things in amazingly wonderful places.

and i think i have to teach them all of that.  but do i?  i just don't know ...

would they just figure it all out on their own? 

i said ... stop!  don't put your feet in there!  we don't put our feet in the fountain! 

will they realize that even though their grandma let them put their feet into the fountain at the park while i objected ... that it's just not ok to put yourself into fountains in public places when you are 37 years of age?



when really truly my heart knows that i want them to dance in a fountain in the early dawn if it makes them happy.

if i could do it all over again ... i would have put my feet in the fountain too. 

i hope that they get that.
i really really hope they do.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me like you are being a great Mom.teaching them to be good people. And no they wouldn't be able to learn this on their own. Look around you at all the uncontrolled kids in your town. They don't have moms like you that care.
You will find "fountains" that you all can dance in.

Marilyn

Life with Kaishon said...

Isn't being a mom the hardest thing in the whole wide world? It sounds like you are a great one to me. Grandmas are the best! : )

Congratulations on your I heart faces win this week. I loved that picture the moment I saw it! And you won out of 1,000 entries...that is stellar.

So happy for you!