hard to walk away.

i (almost) made it out of the building without shedding a tear.

one of my students and her mom ... that i will forever love ... thanked me for what i had done for her daughter ... though it feels like so little ... compared to what she has done for me.  she started the pangs of missing her already.

i said goodbye ... to so many from this building that i have grown to love ... knowing that i will continue to see them as a parent ... but i won't be coming back as a teacher there.  and that made my heart hurt.

i closed the door to my office.  i probably will miss the skylight ... a little.

and then i said goodbye to stella's teacher ... and i lost it. 
totally and completely lost. it. 
maybe it's because of my comfort level with her ... or the fact that she probably knows more about me than anyone ... thank you stella.  or that she's pregnant and her hormones were making me wacky.  i don't know.

what i do know ... is .. i'm a blubbering fool when it comes to goodbyes and changes and transition in general.  like everyone ... i like to know what is around the corner.  i like to know who i'm going to run into.  i like to feel safe and comfortable and happy.

and yet. 

i'm venturing into the unknown of a new position.  a new school (or three).  a new place for me.
 ... something entirely different than what has been done before ... and it's good.  right?

it's good to do something new ... because if you don't?  you might just never know how much you might just love it. 

so, with tears in my eyes ... i stepped out of the unknown ... and into something entirely new. 

and i'm going to be ok with that.

i think

but i also do know that i'm so super wonderfully grateful that i have my three babies to love on all summer long. 

in the wise words of a friend that is retiring this year ... it's going to make for a softer landing.