Monday, April 6, 2009

a re-evaluation of sorts ...

hasay much? if you have no idea what i'm talking about ... head over here to find out.

it's week 24. and as y'all probably know. i haven't kept up. i haven't kept up with the weight loss. i haven't kept up with the posting about it. i haven't kept up with my goals to work out.

and i've come to a realization.

i NEED to do this. now.
i need to do it for myself. my kids. my husband.
i need to do it to stay healthy.

i'm so incredibly sick of losing and gaining the same amount of weight over and over again. obviously i'm doing something wrong.

so ... i've re-evaluated and this is what i've come up with. i need to use what i have. i need to set realistic goals for myself. i need to be proud of what i do, not just how much i lose.

i started this back here saying ... ah hell ... i'm just gonna copy and paste it in ... i need the reminder. (this is all about me folks ... thanks for reading ... but it's really all about me.)

RE-POST!
so my "friend", jen "at" steenkybee, "alerted" me to another "blogger" that is "hosting" a weight-loss "club".

sorry about the unnecessary quotations...i just read a funny blog about unnecessary quotations...and as soon as i started with the "friend" thing...i couldn't help myself. it's my whacked sense of humor, i guess. you are totally allowed to ignore that first paragraph. but you must pay attention to the rest...there might be a quiz.

i have been in a really difficult place with myself lately. i love myself. i really do.

this body was able to create and birth two gorgeously beautiful blue-eyed blondies. with no meds. no meds. i'm very proud of myself for that.

this body got me a terrific husband. (or maybe that was just my personality and brains. who knows?) but still, a husband that loves me irregardless of what i look like.

this body is me.

but i don't like what it looks like anymore.

i'm loved. but i want to love what i look like. it's a completely selfish desire. but one that i want to accomplish.

so i'm jumping into the club. i've heard rumors that they will kick my ass into gear. is that what she said in the email? sounds harsh. but maybe i don't need anyone quietly motivating me. maybe this is just what i need. here's my first assignment.

side note...why can't everyone not use capital letters? i hate having to erase and correct all those damn capital letters when i cut and paste. seriously...time, folks! i don't have a lot of it!

first assignment:
write and publish a blog post on your site detailing the following information:

what motivates you and why do you want to do this challenge?
motivations...the desire to never have to be tested for diabetes. the desire to love what i look like in the mirror. the desire to run around the yard with my kids. the desire to have my husband think he just acquired a trophy wife. why?...cause i want to love myself more than i already do. because my mom and her 2 sisters all have diabetes...and i don't want to prick my fingers.

what is your long term goal?
i want to wear a size 10. or 8. that's 3 (or 4) sizes folks. i realistically think i can get there with perseverance. and less eating out.

what is your long term weight loss goal?
i have no idea what the above will look like in poundage. i'm guessing 25-30 pounds?

what tools are available to you?
i have a membership at curves that is ending this month. which is good. i haven't been getting there. my time with my girls was too precious, already. husband will be bringing home my elliptical machine from another location (borrowed to someone else, when i got the curves membership). i have a dog. i have the girly-girls. i have trails in the valley. i also have winter rearing it's vicious head. so...i have an elliptical machine.

how often can you exercise?
i want to note...in her description here...she called us fatties. just for that...i'm gonna exercise 5 mornings per week.

what do you plan on doing?
my plan is to set my alarm for 5:45. i will not hit snooze. i will start a pot of coffee and go downstairs on my elliptical machine for at least 20 minutes. i will do 10 sit-ups (for starters). and then i will shower and get ready, before the girls get up. then, i'm not wasting the time that i have with them.
my eating plan, is to call my friend (a dietician) and ask for some suggestions. she's amazing and beautiful and highly recommends chocolate. but in moderation. i want her to help me.

what has worked for you in the past?
i've never had to work for it. in the past...it was easy. i rode up to 5 horses a day. i ate whatever i wanted. i occasionally pulled out my yoga for abs dvd.
what hasn't worked in the most recent past...is workouts that bore me, eating whatever i want, not caring, being too busy to eat healthy and not having people there to kick my ass.

i think i need the ass-kicking, everyone. so...i'm gonna post in my side-bar my weight loss. every week. (which means i need to buy a scale.) i might just need y'all to keep the motivation going.
help?

wait...don't help.
just keep kicking my ass until i reach my goal.

oh yeah. no quiz. just wanted to keep you on your toes.

END RE-POST!

... so that was then. this is what i want now.

i want to lose 2-3 pounds this week. (and next week i'll probably say the same thing. you've been forewarned ... although that will hopefully be in addition to the 2-3 lost this week.) it's going to be a week by week thing for me. i want to exercise 3-4 times this week. i will calculate all calories consumed monday to friday when i have a computer at my fingertips. i will watch myself on saturday and sunday. i will beg my friend for some advice in the nutrition department. i will beg another friend to give me fitness advice. i will include the girly-girls. because i don't ever want them to have to go through this. i want them to know a healthy lifestyle. and i want them to know that they are beautiful. just because they are ... not because of inches and sizes and numbers.

so ... now i need to find a happy medium between teaching the girls to be healthy and teaching them to love themselves. argh. no one ever said this was easy, right?

i also need you to give me your advice ... please?

i need to know how to fit the exercise in ... (almost) everyday.
and i need to know what you all eat to fill yourself up so that you aren't starving by dinner ... when you are armed with the knowledge that you only have about 500 calories left for the afternoon/evening.

spill it ... folks!

and honey ... remember that time that you said you didn't really want a trophy wife after reading that old post? and how you just really wanted me to be healthy and happy? thank you for that.

6 comments:

Keely said...

Hm. I eat porridge for breakfast and snack on carrot sticks and celery sticks during the day to stay full (I keep em prepared in the fridge so I don't reach for the easier stuff). It sounds horrendous but once you're in the habit of it you don't even notice.

I try to do SOMETHING active every day, even if it's just 15 minutes on the Wii Fit. On the days I can't get to the gym I work out with Maya on the Wii or, now that it's warm enough, strap the kiddo into the stroller and go for a walk.

I'd like to point out that 2 lbs a week is considered healthy weight loss. Any more than that and you're going to be frustrated (and starving!).

You can do this!! :)

Connie Weiss said...

Oh jen. I'm in the same boat. What I do know is that the times that I have lost weight (more than 10lbs) I was exercising a lot! Like every single day and for almost an hour at a time. I was also single and had time running out of my ears.

What I am trying to do right now....is get up at the crack of dawn and get my workout in. If I don't do it first thing...it doesn't happen.

And I always tend to do better when I have a goal....so I am currently looking for a 5k race to do for my 39th birthday (in 22 weeks). I need to have something that I am working towards beside a number on the scale.

Can't wait to see what your bloggy friends share with you and when you find out what Sara says please share that info with me. K?

Peggy said...

I run three times a week with a group. WITH A GROUP is key to me b/c without them, I just wouldn't do it! Once you get into the swing of the exercise routine you choose, you won't want to muck it up with useless calories (unless you're pms'ing, then all bets are off!). Good luck!!

Casey said...

Man, none of this is easy. The new diet I'm on has me eating every two hours so I'm rarely hungry but the trade off is that we're cooking/grilling every night to keep up with the amount of food we both need to eat.

I'm still not in a groove yet on the exercise part. Do you go to a gym? Do they have daycare? We joined the YMCA last month but Elliot isn't letting me leave her at the daycare yet which is why I'm sucking at keeping up with exercise. I've got nothing for you there except that maybe on the nights when your husband is home, he can bathe the girls and get them ready for bed while you workout? I'm not sure but let me know if you find the answer.

steenky bee said...

I'm so in the same boat as you right now. I need to commit and get serious about this and not just serious every few days or so. I'm struggling with finding the time to work out between all my television watching, my hair brushing and oh, right the kids, how do I will myself onto that treadmill!

FoN said...

Oh man, this is so hard, isn't it? I've been trying to stay focused (with moderate success) for three months now and I've had to accept a few things I didn't want to before:

1. My family is going to have to roll with the punches. I feed them things they don't normally want, I'm not home sometimes when I normally would be, and we're not going out for ice cream anymore. They don't like it, but I think they'll be happy when I live past 60.

2. Make peace with cravings and to a certain degree, hunger. It's hard, but it eventually goes away.

3. Do something, every day. Even if it's just sit ups during the commercial.

4. Try to have a sense of humour about it, otherwise you'll drive yourself insane.

Good luck - you are a rock star!