Tuesday, April 13, 2010

because this is what my life is like right now.


my children make me laugh.  and they make me want to cry ... all in the same day.  sometimes even hour.
and no ... it's not that oh-i-love-you-so-much-i-could-cry kind of cry.  it's the what the hell was i thinking about wanting to have three children cry.  i'm overwhelmed.  and a little coo-coo.  and i don't have enough hands. 
or minutes in the day.
pumping sucks.
i purposefully didn't make coffee today because i was craving this cappucinno coffee combo that i had the other day ... 1/2 banana foster cappucinno and 1/2 regular coffee that i got at a certain gas station.  yum.  so i stopped there this morning.  and lo-and-behold.  no banana foster cappucinno. 
so i was late on the caffeine intake.
i didn't quench the craving.
and i'll have to drive farther tomorrow morning to get what i needed wanted today.
i had a newish kiddo tell me the other day that his last school didn't understand his talent.  OR his autism.  and he had even joined the chess club!!!
cora was being difficult the other day in the car ... minivan.  she wouldn't get in her seat - laying on the crumb encrusted floor - saying that she just! couldn't! do it!  jeremy (already feeling a wee bit frustrated) picked her up and tossed her into her carseat. 
she responded with a "sank you daddy.  dat was vewy hewpfo."
it was super hard to hold back the laughter.  so we didn't.  and we weren't so grumpy anymore.
thrush sucks.
a friend and i were asked to present at a conference.  and get paid. 
like real live money to pretend like we are actually experts.
do you know how crazy that feels?
i mean ... she's really REALLY good at what she does.
but me?
i'm just a mama.  to three crazy kids.  and i don't LOVE my job.  but i do it because it pays for my house.  and daycare.  and i think i'm good at it ...
but good enough to tell people HOW to do it?  whoa.
in summary.  i'm busy.  my boobs hurt. 
and i need coffee. 
and i could have saved you at least 5 minutes if i would have told you to just skip on down to the bottom.


Jenni said...

Oh, god, thrush. So awful. Hope you feel better soon, and get that half cap you're craving.

Christine said...

You ARE good enough to tell other people how to do it. Believe it. I do.

And congrats. :) You ARE going to do that speaking at the conference thing, right? Good.

Raising Z said...

Congratulations on your speaking gig...that is great! Sorry you are having a rough week so far, I hope things get better :) Your boobs should start feeling better soon....Hang in there.

Sarah said...

Oh yes. Yes yes yes. Yes to the three kids thing being hard. And the expected errand not giving you the expected result. And the working for money but not a ton of enjoyment (some? not tons). I know know know this tone of voice. The fatigue and the frustration and the wandering type of feeling. I know it all. I even know the thrush--gentian violet and all!

Congrats on the gig, though. A bright spot in a gloomy day.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Who says you have to like what you do to be an expert? :-)
You're right. Pumping does suck. :-)

6512 and growing said...

Came here via Dig This Chick.
I definitely have those days, coo-coo, and either they're making me laugh or making me want to cry.
Sometimes all within an hour! Maybe that's the coo-coo part!

Kari said...

Congrats on being asked to present - for real money - that rocks! :-)

Matt Conlon said...

Yeesh... Wish I could offer some advice, but I have no idea what to do for painful boobs. That aside, I'm not sure there is advice for such a thing that I could offer without sounding sleazy, even if I HAD such advice.

I always thought a thrush was a bird. Thanks to you and Wikipedia, I've learned something new today. I can go home now.

For what it's worth, most of the time all you need to do to be an expert in any given field is find an audience who knows less about a subject than you do! :)

Kelly said...

Asshhh, the ebb and flow of life! the downs make you appreciate the ups that much more!! I lol'd at your summary! xoxo

Casey said...

Aww, I'm sure it is crazy with three kids on three different schedules. You are a great mom and I'm sure you're a great professional so I don't think the conference is crazy at all. You can do it!